Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

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Captain_Martius
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Post by Captain_Martius »

************ OUT OF STORY *************************
Well folks, here we are. As promised the end!

It's been roughtly three and a half years in the making since I originally posted the first attempt at the Privateers little adventure on Astrokaszy. According to Word we stand, with this last post, at just a hair over 52, 000 words!

My personal life has caused long delays between postings, but I'm told 3 new kids can do that!!! I swear I had no idea this story would be this long when I started!

I want to thank all those who have followed the story through to the end, and special thanks to all those whos words of encouragement made completion possible.

I have other tales of my little band planned, but I think I'll take a short break (despite the long breaks between postings, this story has tormented me day and night since the idea first poped into my head). Of course, even as I type this the voices have already begun screaming to have their stories told. :wink:

Again, My many sincere thanks. I do hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Galen "Capt'n" Tucker


And now I give you....
***************************************************
Epilogue

Kaufmann Mining facility, Mica 1, Mica Majority State
Periphery
20 October 3059
05:24:12 localtime


Michelle walked the familiar halls of her father’s mining company, letting the safety of memories wash away the horrors of her ordeal.

“Curse that {Naughty}! I hope he’s rotting in Hell!” She screamed at the empty walls and emotionless machinery. Rounding the final corner into the automated extraction area, her personal refuge as she grew up, she stopped, shock still, mouth open.

“No such luck, I’m afraid.” The clean shaven man wearing a crisp, expensive, Draconian style business suit said calmly. He wore the warm smile of a father who had just happened upon his wayward child in a busy space port.

Michelle was frozen in fear beyond speech, beyond screaming. One thought kept going over and over in her mind. Him? Here? He’s dead! He can’t be here!

“Oh don’t look so surprised my dear. Katherine isn’t the first House Lord to take a swing at me. And I believe repayment for her kindness is in order, don’t you think?”

“Oh I know what you’re thinking, our innocent, little Katherine couldn’t possibly. But despite what you believe of me, I assure you it was her.”

Her? Her who? What’s he saying?

“Now, if you’ll give me back your going away gift, I’ll be on my way.” He pointed to the necklace he had placed around her neck, forgotten until she was safely at home, and kept as a reminder to be more careful in the future.

Michelle remained frozen, memories too painful to fathom kept her rooted to the floor. Unable to scream, unable to run, unable to simply pass out. Her mind recorded the conversation without processing any of it.

“You see, I had already discovered the meaning of the data, now stored in that necklace, just before I learned that the attack forces were coming. Killing Hanse and Melissa, naughty girl. And they call me an animal.” He remarked as he stepped forward and, with the swift movement of a professional street thief, removed the necklace, “Thank you,” he said with a wink. With that he turned to leave.

“AREN’T YOU HERE TO KILL ME!” Michelle shrieked in indignation and rage.

Half turning and wearing that same warm smile he remarked, “my dear, if I was here to kill you you’d already be dead. I can see the challenge in your eyes, born of proper fear, but then I love a challenge. No I would prefer us to meet again. Besides, thanks to this,” he held up the necklace and swung it dauntingly in front of her, “I believe you and I are going to be having the same, Ahh, difficulties.” With that he disappeared through a side door, that Michelle, after all the years of exploring this sanctuary, had never known existed.
No good deed shall go unpunished!

BlackHornet
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Post by BlackHornet »

Hmmm, Hate to say this but how does the epilogue finish the story?
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Captain_Martius
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Post by Captain_Martius »

BlackHornet wrote:Hmmm, Hate to say this but how does the epilogue finish the story?
hehe, I knew I was being a little vague through the story, but...

The reason, introduced in the first chapter (as I break down the story) for the Privateers being on the planet was to rescue Michelle and Jennifer. If you notice, the enemy forces were not after the Privateers, but rather the "artifact". Their primary assault was on Vondrasek's city, and his forces (Allen et al were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time during the opening of the story). During a brief dream recap I did expose that the good warlord had given Michelle a "gift" necklace. the epilogue tells us who the enemy forces were (at least who sent them, and why).

The tie between Allen & the Privateers and the enemy forces was not the primary modivator behind the enemy attack, actually it wasn't until the end that John Thomson (enemy commander) realizes who some of his forces are chasing.

This story was intended to be the introduction of the Privateers and their first contact with their antagonist (John Thomson's merry little band).

the real objective of the story is: 2 young ladies are captured by a warlord who happens to have chanced upon some information that Kathrine Steiner-Davion would rather not have exposed. The Privateer's are only on planet to save the girls but... aside from John's personal problems, Allen and his little group have costed the future ruler of half of human space a large portion of her personal, rather private, problem resolution force.

Now, the voices in my head are getting harder to igore, I wonder what kind of troubles might get stirred up by upsetting the future bonds woman of Clan Wolf??? :wink:

make sense??
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Post by Captain_Martius »

Ok... so... silence.

I guess no one but me thought this was a good ending. At last! Some critical input. Ok, ok, so perhaps I'd have rathered not flop at the end, but, such is life!

Seriously, does anyone have any thoughts on the ending? I think I've layed out my story line in the last post as I've always seen it, but the difficult thing with writing for me is knowing how the reader perceives my story line. Should I have added more to allude to what would lead up to the epilogue? What other ending did you expect? Should I have written this story at all?

I'll say this, the enemy forces are intended to be on-going antgonist(s). So, having them wiped out was problematic on two fronts:

1) I'd have to develop a new enemy force without the benefit of the history layed down in this story.

2) it would be simply unbelieveable that the Privateers wiped them out. I felt it was a stretch to offer Allen's group a flaw in the devices that they were able to exploit, but hey, I thought they could use a bone :wink:

I decided to drop sections that refer more to the WOB, and save it for later. Those that have read my contest entry on the topic of the birth of the Dark Age have already seen that at some point I intend the WOB get involved with the Privateers.

So... anyone? Comments please. H*ll this is turing out like a Pauly Shore tele-a-thon! What's the point of charging admission if no one pays!!?? :?

Capt'n
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Post by BlackHornet »

Should I have written this story at all?
Hell, yes I enjoyed reading the story, critiqueing is not something I'm good at.
The story was solidly build the characters are developed. Got good action and
climax. Even a little anti-clamax thing with the ending of that last battle.
Have no idea what this artifact is but as it's to be an on-going story thinking we'll find out later.

Now add the word *Saga* to the title and get to work on the next installment. :D
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Post by snakespinner »

Now be patient Captain. You now know how we feel waiting patiently for the next installment. :twisted: :wink:
The epilogue fitted everything together for me.Glad to see your planning the next thrilling installment.
It will be interesting to see how Sweet Katherine will take this. Who gets murdered next.
Eagerly awaiting Dingo's amazing adventures.

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Post by Captain_Martius »

BlackHornet wrote:
Should I have written this story at all?
Hell, yes I enjoyed reading the story, critiqueing is not something I'm good at.
The story was solidly build the characters are developed. Got good action and
climax. Even a little anti-clamax thing with the ending of that last battle.
Have no idea what this artifact is but as it's to be an on-going story thinking we'll find out later.

Now add the word *Saga* to the title and get to work on the next installment. :D
Thank you for your input! As for if I should have written the story, well, I'm not really sure I had a choice. The idea came to me and simply won't go away until I finished.

Yes, I believe there will be more story. In fact, I've already begun researching and ploting the follow-on(s). :D Damn these voices!

I didn't mean to place any undue pressure to provide your thoughts ( :twisted: ). I am glad you did. In fact I"ve wondered for a couple of years if I've been a little too coy with the underlying sub-plot. I do rely very heavily on the reader to have a complete picture of the Steiner-Davion happenings and have them in mind while reading my story which makes no reference to the FED-COM until the epilogue (including theories that even Victor - or the authors responsible for the cannon - have only hinted at ... I can't remember if I added Hanse to Kathrine's naught list myself or if I read enough to jump to it.)

Anyway, I"m rambling... I have a history of that :wink:

Thanks again for your thoughts,

Capt'n
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Captain_Martius
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Post by Captain_Martius »

snakespinner wrote:Now be patient Captain. You now know how we feel waiting patiently for the next installment. :twisted: :wink:
The epilogue fitted everything together for me.Glad to see your planning the next thrilling installment.
It will be interesting to see how Sweet Katherine will take this. Who gets murdered next.
Eagerly awaiting Dingo's amazing adventures.
Touche!

I can tell you that our little princess didn't take it well at all... Of course, nothing is likely to discourage her SL designs, or her undermining of Victor. Mostly because it's already Cannon, and I didn't write it :twisted:

That doesn't mean I won't destroy her favourite vacation spot by dropping Dingo into her sitting room! :wink:

Cannon writers are always so concerned with the major players, but that still leaves a LOT of "red shirts" who are just dying to meet my merry little band :D

I'll try not to keep you waiting...

Thanks for your input snakespinner,

Capt'n
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Post by Rollingdrafter »

I can't wait to read more on the Privateers.

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Post by NeoAres »

our brave captain has disappeared again :cry:
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Post by BeoWolf »

Just when i thought it was the end of the Privateer's, you sprang a surprize on us with the Epilogue. Now how about the next story on the Privateer's, have you started yet, when can we expect it??? Please let use know. I'm looking forward to another exiting adventure with the privateer's. :twisted:
Stay true to the dream of the Kerensky's, now and always.

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Post by Captain_Martius »

I must begin by saying, I am suprised that anyone is still looking at this thread. More suprised that there are those waiting for the next installment. Well, I can't let that kind of interest go un-rewarded! I can't promise I'll be fast, or even regular (kids and work are crazy) but... I have written the prolog of the next ... well... book in the BP series, as well as a 3/4 complete story line. Soooo... I'll brush up the prolog and post the first installment of the next story in the next two days.

Thanks for all the encouragement!

Capt'n
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Post by Rollingdrafter »

Yea!!!!!! :D Can't wait to read it.

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Post by snakespinner »

I've just spent 4 days on a quiet beach with a truckload of beer and many beautiful women. :wink:
I was thinking can life get any better, and here you go putting the icing on the cake.

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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by Captain_Martius »

Wow! It's been 20 years since I started writing this story! I went back through the pages, and sure enough, my kids were born (last one is now graduating high school this year)!

I really enjoy the memories, the great feedback and support I got while writing this! You guys are the best.

Contrary to one of the later posts, I'm still not dead... yet :D

I really wish I could have gotten around to finishing the second installment... the story still rattles around in my head from time to time. But life is always rushing in to distract me (with silly things... bills, family stuff... what have you).

I hope everyone is well!

Cheers,

Capt'n
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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by snakespinner »

20 years,Life is more important than the story, but great to see you still going strong. :wink:

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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by Captain_Martius »

snakespinner! Good to hear from you.

How are things down under? How's life been treating you?
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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by Steve Ronin »

well DANG!

it's the Cap'n and the Auzzie!

Welcome back y'all! :thumleft:
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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by Captain_Martius »

Hey Steve! Yeah it's been a while.

Funny, when you call me Capt'n, I feel like I'm in the maverick movie ... " I should be an Admiral by now " :D

How have you been?
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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by Steve Ronin »

I figured you're going the semi-Soviet Navy method:

... Comrade Senior Captain of the Fleet.
aka Rear Admiral. :)
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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by snakespinner »

Hey Cap, things are great down under, politicians are desperately trying to destroy the place, we are all thinking of going to canada.
Only problem your politicians are just as bad.
So going to do the next best thing, party until i drop. :thumleft:

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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by Captain_Martius »

snakespinner wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 5:35 am Hey Cap, things are great down under, politicians are desperately trying to destroy the place, we are all thinking of going to canada.
Only problem your politicians are just as bad.
:lol: You don't know the half of it! At least your politicians aren't French!! :P

snakespinner wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 5:35 am So going to do the next best thing, party until i drop. :thumleft:
Occam's razor at it's finest!

Good to hear all is well!
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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by Steve Ronin »

I'm finding that good English-speaking politicians are becoming more rare.
And the higher in the government apparatus, the worst they become.
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Re: Barrett's Privateers - PG-13

Post by snakespinner »

our politicians are telling us how great China is, a lot support Hamas, but at least they don't have the brains to speak a nother language. :lol: :wink: